I carry silent sadness

like a tumour that invades my very being,

A heavy weight I never wanted

And I cannot put it down.

Lately, I wade through days

feeling like I’m losing my grip,

As if a distance grows in the spaces

That friendly voices used to fill

And in the mirror

I tell myself that I am not worthy anymore,

Though some part of me still reaches

for the light of what I once was.

I become over emotional, too easily,

Waves rising without warning,

salt stinging my eyes

Thinking about things I cannot say out loud.

But the truth is simple,

and frighteningly sharp:

I can never go back,

the door behind me has already closed.

Now regrets come too late,

scatter like ashes in my palms,

and all I can do

is hold them gently

as they like me, slip silently away.