I lie down each night and I’m joined by regret,

Who reminds me of things I would rather forget.

I turn over, close my eyes and hope for some rest,

But guilt takes its place like a weight on my chest.

 

When finally slumber begins to at last set me free,

Anxiety awakes and starts to chase me.

Remorse takes its turn and piles on the pressure,

Recounting my failures and bathing in pleasure.

 

Then worry arrives with tomorrow in hand,

With problems imagined and futures unplanned.

It asks me the questions that daylight ignores,

Then opens up dozens of unopened doors.

 

Fear sits in the corner and waits for its cue,

Suggesting the worst of what might yet come true.

Shame pulls back the duvet and crawls into bed,

Repeating the words I wish I’d not said.

 

Anger comes knocking, remembering wrongs,

Replaying old battles where no one belongs.

Resentment reminds me of wounds from the past,

And asks why the pain continues to last.

 

Sadness slips quietly in through the gloom,

No need for an invite, it knows every room.

And loneliness lies there, although I’m not alone,

Turning a warm bed as cold as wet stone.

 

I look at the clock and another hour has gone,

I calculate sleep by time left till dawn.

Five hours, then four, then three hours, then two,

And panic joins in with the rest of the crew.

 

“Go back to sleep,” I pathetically plead,

But sleep is the one thing they know that I need.

So each takes a turn as they circle my head,

While I lie exhausted, distraught in the comfort of bed.

 

Then morning arrives and they eventually leave,

As though granting respite, a chance, a reprieve,

The strength that the nighttime has taken away,

Leaves enough just to carry me through the rest of today.

 

But even in daylight there’s something I dread,

A thought that grows louder as I think of the evening ahead

Drawing closer and closer, until I can see,

The night and its visitors, again waiting for me.

 

So I fear not the darkness, or being alone,

But those who arrive when the daylight has gone.

For I know when I lie down and reach for my rest,

Regret will be waiting and bringing the rest.